Taking time to smell the roses, and the scarlet begonias too. Life happens and I write about the absurdity, the beauty, the music and the humor of it all. Shall we go, you and I while we can?
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Carry that weight
post has been temporarily removed... the author apologizes for the inconvenience while she ponders the prudence of her post... please email me directly if you want a copy of the post in the meantime
I watched this unfold, heard much of it. And it makes me just as angry on your behalf as it did at the time. You are a great leader, educator, teacher, mom, wife, daughter, and the best big sister one could wish for. I love you, xoxox me
Yasher Koach Juliet! This is an important message. Hopefully it will bring you some comfort. I'm sure that it will bring others who are faced with similar abusive situations some comfort.
As you know, I too worked with the same rabbi. I was supportive of his hiring and once hired, he started to turn pretty quickly. Within 3 years, every staff member who had not left on their own was fired. (One the Monday after her son's Bar Mitzvah.) He was so insecure that he had to destroy others' parnasa (financial sustenance). The president said in a meeting that the rabbi was the CEO, so he was in charge. I chose to jump ship after a year, even though I knew that it was probably not a good career move in the long run. I was pretty resentful, because my first year had been so great. But I needed to leave for my sanity, and my relationship. I couldn't continue to come home with so much anger! My parting words with the school committee chair, later president under your watch (I think, if not VP), was, “Please don't let the rabbi ever bully anyone like he bullied me.” Looks like, not only did they not heed my warning, but they continued to give him free range. If this was any other kind of workplace, they probably would have had a lawsuit on their hands. But as he's the rabbi (a.k.a., the messiah has come) and we're good Jews trying to fulfill the mitzvah of Shalom Bayit, we left.
I encourage people to share this blog with others. It's a small world out there. While I do not wish him physical harm, I would not feel bad if an employer put two and two together and it influenced their decision.
The one thing that I am sure of is that the rabbi you now work with is the sweetest. And if he isn't, he'll have to answer to me, HIS old Hebrew school director!
It pains me to hear that a person who is good at what she does and is a blessing to her congregation is treated in such an unholy and disrespectful way. While I believe that you can't forgive someone who doesn't ask for forgiveness you can "release" them which will allow you to go up and onward after having been down in Mitzrayim!
It's tragic that anyone in a power position feels that he/she can get away with this behavior because the employee otherwise loves the job and feels the responsibility to complete the contract. In today's job market it must be intolerable for many. That a rabbi, priest, minister or imam is no more surprising than hearing about physicians, lawyers, accountants or business men/women treating their employees this way, but we do hold our religious leaders up to a higher standard. Many of them don't live up to those standard. Sad!
Thank you for your brave words.
ReplyDeleteTziona
www.rabbitziona.com
I watched this unfold, heard much of it. And it makes me just as angry on your behalf as it did at the time.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great leader, educator, teacher, mom, wife, daughter, and the best big sister one could wish for.
I love you,
xoxox
me
Thanks, little bro. And thanks for being supportive then, and now.
DeleteAfter my spouse was out of range as a target, he turned on the cantor. He'd spared her til then because of health, but her number was up.
ReplyDeleteYasher Koach Juliet! This is an important message. Hopefully it will bring you some comfort. I'm sure that it will bring others who are faced with similar abusive situations some comfort.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I too worked with the same rabbi. I was supportive of his hiring and once hired, he started to turn pretty quickly. Within 3 years, every staff member who had not left on their own was fired. (One the Monday after her son's Bar Mitzvah.) He was so insecure that he had to destroy others' parnasa (financial sustenance). The president said in a meeting that the rabbi was the CEO, so he was in charge. I chose to jump ship after a year, even though I knew that it was probably not a good career move in the long run. I was pretty resentful, because my first year had been so great. But I needed to leave for my sanity, and my relationship. I couldn't continue to come home with so much anger! My parting words with the school committee chair, later president under your watch (I think, if not VP), was, “Please don't let the rabbi ever bully anyone like he bullied me.” Looks like, not only did they not heed my warning, but they continued to give him free range. If this was any other kind of workplace, they probably would have had a lawsuit on their hands. But as he's the rabbi (a.k.a., the messiah has come) and we're good Jews trying to fulfill the mitzvah of Shalom Bayit, we left.
I encourage people to share this blog with others. It's a small world out there. While I do not wish him physical harm, I would not feel bad if an employer put two and two together and it influenced their decision.
The one thing that I am sure of is that the rabbi you now work with is the sweetest. And if he isn't, he'll have to answer to me, HIS old Hebrew school director!
Kol HaKavod!
It pains me to hear that a person who is good at what she does and is a blessing to her congregation is treated in such an unholy and disrespectful way. While I believe that you can't forgive someone who doesn't ask for forgiveness you can "release" them which will allow you to go up and onward
ReplyDeleteafter having been down in Mitzrayim!
Ken, thank you for your thoughtful comment. I'm thinking about that...
ReplyDeleteIt's tragic that anyone in a power position feels that he/she can get away with this behavior because the employee otherwise loves the job and feels the responsibility to complete the contract. In today's job market it must be intolerable for many. That a rabbi, priest, minister or imam is no more surprising than hearing about physicians, lawyers, accountants or business men/women treating their employees this way, but we do hold our religious leaders up to a higher standard. Many of them don't live up to those standard. Sad!
ReplyDelete