Thursday Was Definitely Not Pasta Day

Well, Guido Barilla most got his fifteen minutes of fame, and his anti-gay comments went globally viral.  No one is shocked that people still have anti-gay sentiments, but I think we are all a little amazed when people, corporate owners with a LOT at stake, announce them to the world!  I'll quote him here directly so I don't leave anything out... and also because he managed to put down the role of women, and take a swipe at same-sex couples' adoption...

"I would never do [a commercial] with a homosexual couple, not for lack of respect but because we don't agree with them," said Guido Barilla, according to a Reuters translation. "Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role. … If [gays] don't like it, they can go eat another brand."

Just to drive his point home, Barilla added, "I have no respect for adoption by gay families because this concerns a person who is not able to choose," according to a translation from the U.K. Independent."Everyone has a the right to do what they want without disturbing those around them."

 http://www.advocate.com/politics/2013/09/26/barilla-gays-eat-someone-elses-pasta

Wow.  Bad enough he still thinks that way.  Please, don't try to explain to me that Italy is a "macho country" and they need a few more years to catch up, or that one person doesn't represent the entire company.  He does when his name happens to be Barilla.

 Here's what I posted on the company Facebook page... 

Good news. A "traditional" family now can have two dads or two moms, or a single parent, or be a multi-generational household, or a blended family or an adopted family... We all make new traditions in every generation and I think for many of us, Barilla products will not be part of our vast, colorful, diverse celebration of the human experience. You really blew it, Guido

I didn't really expect an answer.  But a little while later, this apology appears on the Barilla Facebook Page.  

At Barilla, we consider it our mission to treat our consumers and partners as our neighbors – with love and respect – and to deliver the very best products possible. We take this responsibility seriously and consider it a core part of who we are as a family-owned company. While we can’t undo recent remarks, we can apologize. To all of our friends, family, employees, and partners that we have hurt or offended, we are deeply sorry.*

 https://www.facebook.com/BarillaUS

Hey, my post (well, okay, and the thousands of others on Facebook in several languages, and on Twitter as well, hashtags: #boycottbarilla or #boicottbarilla) really got to him.
Or them. 
That looks like a nice apology.
And words are important, but so are actions.  I'm absolutely sure they ARE deeply sorry.  So let's see if they are sorry because one man spoke about how he felt and didn't represent the company, or they are sorry they are going to lose a lot of money and respect worldwide.  

In Judaism, we understand that true repentance, teshuvah, is making a different choice, when faced with the same set of circumstances the next time.  So I guess we will wait for the next ad campaign.

When their Facebook page looks like this

And doesn't make us think of this

Then we can stop boycotting this brand, and show that we appreciate a company who admits their mistakes, as egregious as they may be, and knows how to grow up. 

Peace, love and equality for ALL!

Juliet



*To which I responded: 
Words are good, and important. Your actions in the next few days will be even more important. The damage done by Guido Barilla was devastating and the ripples go far beyond the LGBT community. The world is watching. Do the right thing.

By the way, I did have some Barilla Pasta in my pantry.  I'm not a food waster, so I collected the few boxes and donated it to a food drive. I won't buy any more, but I will also not throw food in the garbage.

An Open Letter to Governor Christie

This started as an open letter to the Governor, begging him to do the right thing and allow the bill to become law.  The very day I wrote it, he vetoed the marriage equality bill, so I edited my letter, changed it to an essay, and mailed it to the newspaper, as I could not keep quiet.  

This is the copy I sent to The Record, the local NJ newspaper.  So far it has not been published.  But this blog post has been viewed quite a few times.  And it looks like Maryland is about to be the next state to pass same-sex marriage.

February 18, 2012

I have been ranting on my Facebook page, and doing a lot of tweeting lately, and even though the world is going the way of the social media, due to the seriousness of this issue, an actual letter is in order.  You see, lives are at stake- lives of people we know, and countless people we don’t know.

The need to write send this letter to the paper began as I read yesterday’s Record. There were two front page headlines: New picture of defendant and Gay Marriage Backers Plan for Coming Battle.  The first refers to the tragedy of Tyler Clementi’s suicide, and the planned court date of his roommate.The second refers to The Marriage Equality bill, passed by both the New Jersey State Senate and House, which would soon be reaching Governor Christie’s desk for a signature, and the preparations being made for a potential battle which is likely to ensue if he should decline. A few hours later, as he promised, Chris Christie vetoed this bill that meant so much to so many.

He had said publicly that he planned to veto the bill and “...move on to other things that the people of New Jersey say are more important to them… (Gay marriage backers plan for strategy for coming battle, 2012).” It made me wonder if he thought to ask voters if saving the life of a young college student might be right up there with creating jobs and lowering taxes.

I’ll explain the connection.

Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers freshman, jumped to his death off the George Washington Bridge, after being “outed” as gay by his roommate.  He was more than outed. He was exposed publicly, virally, on Facebook and Twitter. Because being gay is still being “The Other,” and because of the speed and scope at which this occurred, Tyler, overwhelmed, decided he would rather take his own life than face the fallout of this public “outing.”  As a result, and in the wake of this horrible tragedy, schools all across New Jersey, and the United States, have increased their efforts to stop bullying.  

As positive as this development is, there is an interesting twist. There are specific laws which support moves to stop bullying on the basis of prejudice or bias. If you make a racist comment about an ethnic group, it is considered a hate crime.  Any action taken against a religious group is likewise punishable based upon that principle.  It seems that the intention of the law is to protect against any crime against any group based upon cultural difference. Clearly, a veto of same-sex marriage now marginalizes an entire segment of our population. Our own government has just provided an excuse for the ignorant and cruel among us to continue to behave in a way that is reprehensible. Chris Christie missed an opportunity to teach a new generation that the bigotry of their parents will not be tolerated. He missed the chance to teach them the true meaning of democracy and equality. By vetoing this bill, he gave kids the go-ahead to bully and tease gay and lesbian kids.  He allowed teachers to stand idly by when they see it. Christie is saying that gay and lesbians are not equal to heterosexuals. In fact, even the children of these couples will now be subject to another generation of ostracizing and elitism rather than acceptance and understanding if we do not work together for change right now.

The state senate and legislature have voted. Polls clearly indicate that the majority of those living in New Jersey currently and strongly support Marriage Equality.  And for those who may not love the idea of a gay marriage, the wonderful thing about our country is that they never have to have one. 

I am saddened and disgusted that our governor did not hear the voices of his constituents, that he did not represent our state and his voters by doing the right thing. He had the chance to make New Jersey the seventh state to boast marriage equality.  Doing so would only have helped our state.   Hopefully the New Jersey government will be able to override his veto.  Then, like our parents, who knew that people of color were not “separate but equal,” and that women and men all have solace in the job market, in just a few years, we would be able look back at this milestone, and say that we were part of the generation who made this change.  

Juliet Barr

Ramsey

Mother, Educator and Voter