Once In A While You Get Shown the Light

August 6, 2013

I'm in the midst of composing two other posts... but this just happened and for all of you teachers, educators, and counselors out there who wonder why we keep fighting the good fight... this will remind you, and make you feel like truth, justice and the American way is on your side.  Or at least you'll feel all warm and fuzzy for a few minutes.

I got a call from my son yesterday.  He works at the URJ Eisner Camp, so a call is rare.  He was on his way back from a doctor's appointment so he had time to chat.  (Let's not think about the fact he was using his phone while driving, okay?)

First things first.  How'd the appointment go? This is not germaine to the blog, but as a Jewish mother, I wouldn't want you to think that we didn't discuss my son's health.  He and I then checked in on the rest of the family, and I told him about some adventures I had. 

Then this.

Mom, do you remember a kid named Alex P. back from when you were the principal at Temple B'nai Emunat Yisrael? 

YES!  Of COURSE I do!  I LOVED Alex!  

Well, he is in my friend Steve's bunk, so I don't know him that well. Apparently he had a pretty good first half, but then all his friends left, and he's struggling during the second half of camp.  When he comes to adventure he seems like a good kid but Steve said he's starting to act-out in the bunk.  Then when they were at Limmud (the educational period of camp) he was asked who his role model was. He said, "Juliet Barr."  I wasn't there, but Steve figured out that it was you, Mom.  So I reached out to him, and told him who I was, so he would know he had a connection and a friend.

I was temporarily speechless.

Then I went on to tell my son about my special connection with Alex, and what I thought might work... he was really great with younger kids and took on responsibility very well.  I felt like reaching out to Alex's mom, but I might just hold on to this moment.

I am his role model.  Why?  Because I saw past his behavior and into his heart?  Because instead of punishing his "attitude" I saw something beyond it, found a way to turn it around and allowed the synagogue to become a safe place.  I'm sorry the rest of his teachers and counselors still aren't seeing this too.  

And how wonderful that I found out.  That somewhere at Eisner Camp, a counselor put two and two together, with this exotic last name of BARR and mentioned it to my son, who actually remembered to tell me.  So I can know that that meeting when I stood up for this child and explained that punishment and make-up assignments would do absolutely NOTHING to help him, but having him help in the first grade class would, actually did.

May all of you teachers have a moment when you hear that you are a student's role model, hero, or favorite teacher.  I feel like SuperWoman today.  Where's my cape?


Of course the name of the student and the synagogue have been changed.  The name of the camp really is Eisner Camp and magic happens there.  And my name is actually Juliet Barr.

Barr Family Reunion

I arrived at #5 Seabreeze last Saturday in my shiny red Prius cranking "Little Deuce Coup" with my 26 year-old son in the passenger seat.  We were the last to arrive actually and squeezed the tiny car into the last remaining spot, bounded out of my tightly packed car to welcoming arms.  Literally.  Hugs and kisses, smiles and laughter greeted us.  Even from those we had seen just yesterday.

It's the Barr Family reunion at Old Orchard Beach.  We wouldn't miss it for anything. And except for 2 summers, we haven't missed it in something like 32 years.  (I'll be happy to correct that number, but I am pretty sure that's about right.)  My in-laws and their four sons, their wives, and kids have all gotten together on this beautiful beach for a week at the end of July or beginning of August.  What we have is uniquely ours and incredibly special.  We've shared more laughs and yes, some tears, than most families do.  We repeat the same stories, and they are still funny. AND they're becoming the kids' stories now!

It's Friday afternoon, and our week here is coming to an end.  A few of the family members have left already.  We're doing laundry and eating up the leftovers today.  About an hour ago we said good-bye to the youngest member, sweet cousin Zoe, just two now. As she waved bye-bye to Nana, clutching her Cookie Monster doll and talking about eating "sushi at the airport" we all tried to smile, but it was not so easy when we saw the tears in Nana's eyes.

We will have one more family dinner tonight and maybe walk down to the pier for ice cream if it doesn't rain.  We will all pack up our cars and suitcases, and spend the next few weeks emailing and facebooking our memories and photos back and forth.  But the bigger picture is the imprint that this ritual has made on our lives, not that we did it this year, but that we've been doing this every year.

We taught our children that no matter how busy we were, this week was the most important week of the year.  We came to Maine right after babies were born, or when babies were soon to be born!  We came to Maine instead of going on a honeymoon! (And by the way, Michael, I would like to remind you that you still owe me a romantic get-away...)  We went to Maine when we had very little money to spend on any other vacation.  And we came up here when I had just finished my cancer treatments.  I did not even know yet if I was cancer free, and I was very weak and tired.  But I did know that I wanted to be surrounded by family, and love, and lots of energetic children.

Since I am writing this blog from the kitchen table of the beach house and not from my desk at home, I can't post lots of photos from the last 30 plus years, but please use your imagination.  Picture toddlers playing in the sand.  Little children laughing on kiddie rides at the pier.  Shots of sand castles that all look alike even though every year we exclaim, "THIS is our best one EVER!!"  And all of us laughing over cheese and crackers during cocktail hour.  The inevitable lobster fest, with my brother-in-law and me listening to Sugar Magnolia as we crack open the leftovers for lobster rolls the next day.

And then picture me again, not aging a bit of course, with the biggest smile on my face, wishing it would never end.

Good -bye for this year, Old Orchard Beach, and beloved extended Barr Family.  I'll see you all again next year, and I'll miss you until then.

I'll try to add more photos to this blog as I download them from my camera.  

Post script: as I finished writing this, and family returned from various outings, I posted the blog...asked for feedback, got a hug from my sister-in-law, and threats not to post any pix that were unflattering of anyone! A few minutes later, cousin Debbie, who actually lives here, came to say good-bye, with a fresh baked challah. With that I took out the Shabbat candles, and my brother-in-law got the last and best bottle of red wine, and we welcomed Shabbat as a family. 

The cars a loaded now and I have to go. But I just thought you'd like to know. 

August 2014:

I sat down to write about this summer at the beach, and I realized I had written these thoughts before. So instead, I'll repost, with a few additional thoughts after another great week!

Tradition!
As I mentioned above, we calculated that we have been coming to Old Orchard Beach for 32 years now.  We have only missed two summers in all that time.  Some of them stand out.  The summer after my husband and I got married (actually it was the week after we got married) we earned the only room with a double bed.  It was, after all our honeymoon.  (How many of you took your honeymoon with your in-laws, three brothers, two sisters-in law, and a baby nephew?)  One summer we rented a house where the walls didn't go all the way up to the ceiling, so you could hear absolutely everything everyone said in the house.  That was neat. There was the summer it was so unbearably hot, no one could sleep. And the summer it was freezing cold the entire time ... oh wait, that's every summer. 
Some things have changed.  No more buckets of toys, and boxes of videos.  And crates of cassettes tapes. I still ambitiously bring three books, this year I nearly finished one, which is a record for me lately.  Gameboys have given way to iPods and iPads.  My mother-in-law has finally allowed us all to participate in the kitchen so she can sit and relax and enjoy the company.

Three generations in the kitchen. 

The House Itself

First, let me say it's really quite a little house.

I posed the house next to my Prius to give you perspective.  Inside we sleep 9 or 10 adults.  We used to fit more of us, but at a certain point people started to care about little things like privacy, sleeping past 6:30 am, and having hot water for showers. So some of the grown kids opt for the hotel down the street.
It's decorated in "down the shore decor" of timeless lime green and sea foam blue that we really have gotten used to by now. What hit me a few years ago what that the photos of the owners children are still the same baby pictures as when we started renting this house 8 or 9 years ago.  I wonder what would happen if I surreptitiously replaced those outdated photos with our family photos.  (Here we have Uncle Ronald, eating a lobster.  Here we have Aunt Jean, working on a jigsaw puzzle...  all in those dorky tiny nautical frames they have all over the living room.  You get the idea.)


The Salami
A few years ago, when one brother couldn't make it, he sent a deli salami from LA to our beach house. My father-in-law got very excited about this, and missed several beach days, sitting in the driveway on his beach chair waiting for the UPS truck to come for this hard salami delivery.  No once can deny it was delicious.
The next year, the prodigal brother came to the beach with two salamis in tow.  And they were devoured.  But the following year, I guess he got busy, and forgot.  And I do believe that was the year my father-in-law stopped smiling, and the weather turned bad, and the kids got cranky, and well, things just weren't right.  So, I am now the provider of the salami.  I order two of those bad boys from Katz's Deli in NYC, have them delivered to my house, where I bring my lawn chair out to my driveway and wait for them to arrive.  This year the second one made it almost until our last day of vacation.

The Family Portraits

I could not get my father-in-law to smile, or even look at the camera, to the delight of his sons.

Three blessed kids, with their parents and both sets of grandparents. Aug 1, 2014. Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

The Cousins!  We are missing a few this year, and truly hope they make it next summer!
Photo credit: Vicki Barr

1983- do you like the leg kick? Or Adam's photobomb?

I guess we went out for dinner.  Once. Also, 1983,

2010

1996 - the first year we started taking this kind of photo

My name is Juliet B.

My name is Juliet B. and I am an addict.  

I am addicted to my phone.  Seriously.  Though I'll attempt to find some humor in it.

For those of you who know me, this may not come as a shock.  And whether you know me personally or not, you might think, "What's the big deal? Every person you see is one his or her phone all the time."  True.  But yesterday, I had a few minor epiphanies, and I thought I'd share them.  Maybe they will give you insight into your own phone use (abuse?) as well.  Or just open a window into mine.

I live in a New Jersey suburb, but I had to commute into Manhattan for a seminar downtown. I packed for a 45 minute train ride and a 10 minute subway ride, as I have many times, with my wallet, my iPad, a small note book, my new Bose headphones (not tiny earbuds any more... going for the superior sound quality and comfort), a train schedule, a water bottle, a pencil case filled with pens, pencils, & sharpies, my camera, and a few other things, including, my iPhone, SO I THOUGHT.

It's a very short drive to the train station, and when I got there, I locked the car, and bought my ticket for the train and sat down to send a few texts to my husband and son.  I left them each  $50 and wanted to make sure they knew it.  I rummaged around my fairly sizable pocketbook* for my phone and couldn't find it right away.  With the train coming in 2 minutes, I figured I'd wait until I was on the train and seated to really look for it.

Settled into my spot by the window, I began to look in earnest for my phone. It wasn't the first time this has happened.  It's a big bag. Out came the wallet, the iPad, the notebook, my new headphones, camera, reading glasses, sunglasses, water bottle... getting near the bottom now... oh, look, those ginger mints I got at Sea-Tac airport...hand cream, lip balm (a mild panic is setting in as I start sifting through the small stuff), loose change, the missing button from my suede jacket...no phone yet.  I look in the pocket compartments of the bag. Nope. I check my own pockets again. I check the outer lining of the pocketbook, as if an invisible rip could have appeared. Nothing. 

A sick feeling was rising up.

I forgot my phone. I must have left it on the dining room table.  

As I replaced the contents of my bag, I looked out the window of the train. I'm now two stops away from home. I could disembark, wait for the next train, go home, get the phone take the next train and I'd just be late for the seminar.  No, that's not right.  I could call my husband, ask him to bring the phone to the next stop on the train jump out, get the... no, I can't call him, and he's probably gone to work.  I could go home, get the phone, drive to New York, pay to park, maybe be on time, maybe hit a ton of traffic in either direction... or maybe I can go one day with no phone.

Maybe I can do this. Maybe I have to.

The first thing that happened is I started to think about all the things I could not do.  I could not do what I always do on the train, which is text people, check my email, play sudoku, scrabble, and check the return trains on the NJ Transit app.  

As I mentioned, I do have an iPad, but I have the type which requires wifi.  I am my own personal hot spot. (I know how that sounds, but I pay a little extra to AT&T and through some voodoo magic, my iPhone makes me a wifi  hotspot.)  My iPad does have a book on it, and I decided to read.  I took it out and read a few pages, and then actually took a nap on the train.  So, for those of you waiting for the silver lining in this tail of woe, that was it.  I slept on the train.  

Part of my plan was to grab breakfast in town before the seminar, so I looked for a place with free wifi (which in NY is pretty easy) and while eating my omelet I sent off messages to some of the people on my list with whom I had hoped to connect.   "No phone, talk to you later."  "In the city today with no phone, home tonight."  To my son, I typed where I was going to be all day, in case of an emergency.  (He later said he hadn't seen that email, but it gave me peace of mind at the time.)  

I pictured my iPhone on the dining room table buzzing and ringing all day.  Poor little ignored thing.  No one to Tweet with it.  No one checking Instagram regularly.  No one looking at email and Facebook.  All those missed texts.  And the calls I was missing!  I could not stop thinking about that.  

As I walked through New York to my seminar, I was not noticing the beautiful day.  I was not people-watching, or smiling at the parents with their kids, or the dog-owners with their dogs.  I wasn't even noticing fun shoes or great architecture like I usually do.  I was still thinking about my phone, and the things that I hadn't done, follow-up work calls I hadn't made, emails I hadn't sent, texts that had to wait until I got home much later. It was my parents' anniversary... should I borrow someone's phone to call them? Would I even know anyone at the seminar well enough to impose on them like that?

This was when it hit me.  I am addicted to my phone.  I don't need to be ON IT all the time, but I need it to be ON ME all the time.  Is there a 12-step program for this?

I do sometimes unplug, from my computer for sure, and from my phone... almost completely.  But even at those times, I know that my phone is nearby, and available if there is an emergency.  If I had an emergency yesterday, it would have had to be at a Starbucks, so I could use the wifi to email someone from my iPad!

At the seminar, like any good presenter, our teacher went around the group and had us introduce ourselves.  When it was my turn, I nearly said, "I'm Juliet, and I forgot my phone today."  I didn't, but I did have a hard time focusing in the beginning.  Luckily, he was a great teacher, and I dove into the day.  The building had wifi, and I checked my email during the break, and had the chance to follow up with a few of the things that were pressing.  

By the time it was time to leave, I knew I was going to be okay.  I walked back to the subway station, this time cutting through the park.  I looked around and noticed people this time.  Everyone was on their phone, iPhone, iPad, Kindle, and so on. Even a young man and woman who looked like they were having a fairly intimate moment both had their headphones on and were holding separate iPhones.  Only one 20-something guy was reading an actual book as I walked through the rows of benches.   

I got near the subway station, and dug out my ticket. Normally I would have checked the NJ transit app to see which train I could make.  Instead, I pulled out the paper train schedule when I got on the subway, and calculated my timing.  

When I got home, I remembered to hug my family and say hi to my dogs before I rushed to the phone.  And there it was. Right on the table.  Now to see how much I missed.  

No calls.

A few Facebook posts, none specifically for me.

One text.

Several emails, but nothing urgent.  Most of the people who received my earlier notes replied with "No iPhone, Juliet? Are you okay?"

Life went on without my phone.  It didn't kill me.  Did it make me stronger? I don't know about that.  It did make me a bit more self-aware.  Will it make me change my phone habits?  Maybe.  I consider myself a polite cell phone user already.  But maybe after I'm done writing this, then Tweeting it, I'll turn of the phone and go outside to my garden and leave the phone in its spot on the dining room table.  It seems that I generate a lot less work for myself that way.

Oh my apps, how I missed you!

*Fun fact:  They don't say pocketbook in the Pacific Northwest.  They say Purse or Handbag.  They looked at me like I was Ethel Mertz when I referred to my bag as a pocketbook when I was out there.

Mother's Day

I vacillate between thinking it's a Hallmark holiday, and a really special day.  In fact, just now when I went to dictionary.com to spell check vacillate, right there, in bold type, it said MOTHER = HERO.  When I clicked on the banner, it showed Rosie the Riveter, with her polka dot shmata on, sleeve rolled up, feminine fist in my face, with the words, "Mother: The Toughest Job Description."*  Think about that ... it doesn't even make that much sense... but don't mess with us anyhow, you wimps. 

Even if you aren't a mom, you have or had a mom.  Most of us can dredge up some sentimentality for our moms on this day, even if their relationships weren't the best.  I'm lucky.  I am a mother, I have known two of my great-grandmothers, both of my grandmothers, and I have a great relationship with my mom, and my mother-in-law.  Did I say I am lucky?  I am extremely blessed. 

I must say though, that the card companies really rake it in... and there were times where I spent the better part, wait, no, the worst part of an hour choosing the right card for the Grandmothers, and the mothers from each of the kids and one from my husband and me... usually with a whiny child in a stroller and another falling apart in the aisle.  A funny one.  A sentimental one.  Too mushy?  Too funny? Is this what I really want to say?  Would my husband like this? What am I thinking...he'll sign whatever I put in front of him.  I'd leave with my $79 worth of cards with pink, peach, and purple envelopes, usually to get home find that at least two didn't fit.  Then to get everyone to sign them and mail them on time.  

My Mom, at 12

Now the great-grandmothers are gone.  The kids do not live here anymore.  I've spent more time on this blog than I will in the card store. 

I'm long past the construction paper cards and the wooden-bead necklaces and paper crowns.   I hope the kids are picking out their own cards... and I just realized how much I miss that time, and my grandmothers too. They'd call the minute they got our cards, exclaiming they were even better than last year, the flowers, even more beautiful. I would gladly trade that miserable hour of standing in the Gold Crown store for a little more time with "Little Grandma" and "Gigi."  Or to hold my hand over my son's as he tried to spell his name in cursive to be fancy for his "Baya."

So aside from the fact that the card stores, the florists,  restaurants cash in on Mother's Day, what can we do to make it less commercial and more meaningful?  For one thing... those of us who live by the Judeo-Christian ethic, and there are one or two, I believe, can validate this holiday as fulfilling half the commandment of honoring your Mother and your Father.  (Obviously the second half to be fulfilled in June.)  I know I honor the memory of my grandmothers and my husband's grandmothers by maintaining the values for which they struggled.  And I think a great way I  honor my mother and my mother-in-law is in the way my husband and I raise our children.  All three show their grandmothers (and grandfathers, but again this is Mother's Day) deep respect and love.  My kids call, text, and Facebook, and yes even visit their grandparents.  Although it's true that the grandparents NEVER see the Facebook messages and probably only see about 1/3 of the texts, they get it.  In fact, its very unlikely they will see this declaration of love to them, unless I print it and bring it over for Sunday brunch.  

I love my mother.  
I love being a mother.
I love that I can see my daughter as a link in an incredibly strong chain of women... but maybe that's for another blog.

So, I'll end with this.  Maybe Mother's Day IS a fabricated scam of a holiday, designed to get you to spend money.  But I just realized that I'm okay with it.  I just realized that I wouldn't trade anything for those precious days when I took off from work to attend a Mother's Day Tea with my third grader's class!  Or when I came home from the a long day of work and there were crepe paper flowers in a hand-painted ceramic pot sitting at my place at the dinner table. 

And for you kids who may be reading this, no matter how old you are, we moms aren't joking when we say we'd rather have a home-made gift than a store-bought one!  So you don't have to buy into the whole commercial "Your Mom Needs A Diamond Bracelet or You Are Crap" business.  Cook something.  Create something.  Send her some new music.  (That might just be me.)

As for this mom?  I want nothing more than to sit a the same table with my three kids, my husband and my parents, and my brother's family, and any other family we can bring together, and have a great meal with some excellent music and a pitcher of  margaritas. Maybe outside! If you want to make me a pink-dyed macaroni necklace, I'll gladly wear that too. 

Happy Mother's Day to all.  

Okay, one more thing... We do like flowers. If you haven't ordered flowers yet, consider going with fair trade this year.  Click here for one link to Fair Trade flowers for Mother's Day.  We moms would appreciate you not exploiting other moms to get us our bouquets.

Alright, another last thing... here's a cute article from the Jewish Forward about Jewish Mothers, put on my Facebook page by my older son.  He had a few pretty funny 6-word descriptions for me... Click Here to open in a new window.

The five of us, in 2011

Me and my mom.  I'm sitting down.  Something funny is going on. 

Mother's Day, 2014... I must be growing up... I would also now welcome a meaningful donation to Mazon, Heifer International, Cancer Care or Shelter our Sisters.

*After going back to do my due diligence  this is a quote from Mary Kay Blakely.

And the Oscar Goes to...

I'm not usually big on watching the award shows.

I half-watch the Emmy awards, as there are members of my family involved in television.  I'm not sure if they want all that fame and recognition they'd immediately get by a mention in blog, but let's just say that one of them has my last name and the other has my middle name.  Nuff said.
The Golden Globes seem like a big "How do you like me now?" fest.  But if Brad Pitt or George Clooney is on, I'll do them a favor and watch. 
Forget the Tony Awards... I haven't seen a recent Broadway show since Spamalot, which was fantastic, by the way. (Actually, I am probably THE person who never saw Cats or Les Miz, which I'll get to later in this post.)
Let's not even bring up the Country Music Awards... 
But, I must say, I did enjoy the Grammy Awards a lot this year.  So I'm thinking about tuning in to the Oscars.  I saw a few movies this year and I figured, as a sometime blogger, I'd throw out my picks now, and see how close I get.

Spoiler alert.  I did actually see one of the movies nominated this year.
The rest are just the movies I WATCHED this year, on tv, on Netflix, on the plane, on my laptop or iPad. 

So here goes.  My nominations for this year's Oscars.  Or maybe we should give them another name.  I present the 2013 YAFFA awards.  (My Hebrew name, and it means nice.) No, I don't like that. Too bland.

Ladies and Gentlemen the 2012 Movie Original Moment Awards: The MOMmies

For the Category of Most Surprisingly Good Movie: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011) 
           Yes, 2011. I told you it was just the movies I saw this year, not the movies that came out in 2012. And why "surprisingly good?"  I rented it because it had a great British cast, but also because it was a cheaper rental from iTunes than most of the new releases so I could watch it on my iPad on a flight.  But it was so great and so nicely done that I rented it AGAIN when I came home from my trip so I could watch it with my husband.  There is nothing formulaic about the film and unlike with most movies, I didn't want it to end.  And now that I just looked it up to get a photo for the blog, I see that it was nominated for 2 Golden Globes, so sorry to be a tad dismissive in the first paragraph.

Runner up in the Surprisingly Good Category has to go to Pitch Perfect (2012).  
    First, please note that this is actually a movie from 2012.  Second, I took a chance on this one and it was actually GREAT.  I also watched this one on a plane, and realized I was laughing out loud.  And, no, it was not the altitude or the pre-flight Bloody Mary.  The movie is well-acted, has a plot that although is fairly predictable, works because of its excellent cast, the singing and dancing, and the fact that it doesn't seem to take itself too seriously.

And, in the category of Most Disappointing Movie: Morning Glory (2010)
      I figured with Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford, it had to be good, but I guess there was a reason why I had never heard of it, and why it went right to DVD.  It wasn't terrible, but it didn't click.  

Runner up in this category: Baby Mama (2008)
      Dang it.  I should have stayed away. I knew it.  But after reading Tina Fey's book (Bossypants) and learning about the real friendship she has with Amy Poehler, I thought I'd give it a try.  


Best Sequel with Excellent Special Effects Starring a Guy who Nearly Ruined his Life Due to an Affinity for Recreational Drugs:  Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) 

Best Movie that Was Hilarious the First Time and Totally Not the Second Time: Dinner For Schmucks (2010)

Only Movie this Year I Could Not Finish Watching: The Gray (2011) 
  Scary and terrible.  You might like it.


Most Underrated Movie that is Always Funny: Galaxy Quest (1999)
   Not only did I watch it this year, I probably watched it twice.  

Best Documentary (okay, only documentary): Gun Fight (2011)
    In a wild coincidence, I watched this film on HBO right before the shootings in Connecticut.  I have been trying to find it again, and I'm surprised that HBO has not aired it since then. It's very compelling.

And, for best films of 2012... it's very close... since I've only seen Pitch Perfect, mentioned above, Magic Mike, and Les Miserables.  

Hands down, for the category of any remotely Pleasing Eye Candy in a Film (that I have seen)  the MOMMIE goes to Magic Mike.  If you are a straight woman or a gay man, I'd recommend this movie if you haven't seen it already.  There may have been a plot as well. 

So that leaves us with Les Miserables.  What awards can we bestow on this majestic sweeping tale of the obscure interim French Revolution that seemed to have taken place?  (Oh? It wasn't obscure?)  

Best Non-Wolverine Role for Hugh Jackman since Kate and Leopold

Most Hyped Movie to Come Along Since Titanic

More Jews Saw Les Miserables on Christmas Day than Went to Chinese Restaurants*

My goodness, what a flattering picture!

I had never seen the other movie versions of this story, nor had I ever seen a stage version of it.  I don't know how it happened that I made it this long in life, but basically my children had to explain the history of Europe to me, and some basics of the story line as well.  After gaining that understanding I found the film moving and wonderful.  I was really fine with Russell Crowe's singing, because I was actually moved by his acting. I thought Ann Hathaway was fantastic, and in case you haven't noticed, I don't usually go so far as to heap the praise like that.  I'm following Amanda Seyfried on Instagram now, so if anything big happens with her after this movie, I'll probably be the first to know. 

 And I loved Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter... they were the comic relief the movie begged for and lit up the screen.  They win the 
Most Needed, Best Harmonizing Comic Relief in Any Operatic Film Award.


So maybe I will watch the Oscars when they are on this year, after all I did see three movies which will no doubt be nominated.   I'll wait til Magic Mike wins its awards and then go to bed! 



*That last one is not an award, actually, just a little thing I noticed that night on Facebook.


This just in... here are the actual listings of the awards... hot off the interweb press: Click Here

Oy, Another Storm Already?

What if the Jewish People Named the Storms?  A short and obvious blog post on Erev Nemo.

Weather alert... such a cute icon for such dangerous conditions.
Kinda like the name Nemo.

We don't name them.  Someone else does, while we do other jobs.  But what if we did?

First of all, being a Reform Jew, I'd have male and female names together on the same list, and of course mix the classic with the modern depending on my mood.  

Here goes.

Asher
Bruriah
Cantor (no-brainer on this one)
Delilah (also good for the Deadheads)
Elijah (especially fitting if you think the end is near)
Frieda
Gad (I played Gad in the Brandeis version of Joseph*, always have a soft spot for this brother)
Hymie (too obvious?)
Izzie  
Judah
Keshet
Lior
Miriam
Natan
Oded
P'nina (Can you just hear Jim Cantore announcing that Superstorm P'nina is working it's way up the coast?)

I'm sort of stuck on Q.  I'll take any suggestions from the readers.

Raisel ... or Reuben ... can't decide.  Need another girl's name, but I love a good Reuben.
Shmendrick
Tekiyah  
Uriel
Vered
Wolfie

X ... no X names exactly, so I went and got the Jewish name dictionary.  There was Xavier, which means Savior.  So, technically we could put in Mashiach here.. but I think I'll leave X blank as well.

Yadin (could have gone with my Hebrew name, Yaffa, but that's more like a wimpy tropical storm.)
Zahara

So there you have my suggestion for Jewish storm names.  I will be happy to edit this list if you make a good case for changes.  Everyone enjoy Nemo, and Shabbat Shalom!

So, pretty much everywhere???

*Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  Google it. It's still great.

Thank you to devoted reader RMK, who suggested Qadisha for the letter Q.  Very exotic, and works well with Black History month too.

Well, it seems that my blog inspired a guest blogger, and stage and screen actor, Geoffrey Cantor, to create his own list, ostensibly to give Jewish names to the second year (5774) of storms.

A- Adonai (For who else could create such a storm)

B- Bupkus (You call this a storm?)

C- I've nothing to say

D- Daven (Bowing to the power..) David (a king of a Storm)

E- Elijah (Storms always mean SOMEthing is coming)

F- Frumah Sarah (What is this about you snowblowing your DRIVEway? Yes your                     DRIVEway!)

G- Golem (If it's a monster of a storm) or Gornisht (See Bupkus)

H- Hamen (It's bad, and you have to get so drunk that you can't tell it's a storm)

I- Isaac (Good name and the meteorologist who screwed up on Galveston)

J- Jesus (He was Jewish)

K- Kedusha (It's reverent), or if its a wet snow? Kreplach

L- Latke (It's...cute)

M- Moses, Mordecai, Maimonides

N- Nimrod

O- Oy VEY!  

P- Pinchas

Q- Quetzalcoatl (nod to my Native American brothers)

R- Rivkah, Rebecca, Rachel, Ruth, Rugelach

S- Sarah....SO NU?

T- Tevya

U- Ushpizin (That's some visitor)

V- VODKA (what Jews in Russia Drink when it snows)

W- WODKA (what Jews in Poland Drink when it snows)

X- Xander

Z- Zaftig (if it's a hefty storm), or ZION.

The author, and the guest blogger, in a moment of sibling mock strangulation and  iphone-foolery.

Happy New Year

To paraphrase the Beatles just a little, there's nothing I can say here that hasn't already been said...
First of all

Happy New Year!

Thanksgiving has come and gone.  This year, the Pilgrim-tinis were pretty much a glass of vodka with a cranberry waved over the top of it.  And yes, we all did shots right before dinner again.  Flu shots, for those of you who've been playing along at home.

We are still in the aftermath of a hurricane that knocked our legs out from under us.  When I sat down to write about it, I was not even sure what part to focus on.

The destruction in my town?  The destruction beyond belief of the Jersey shore? The recovery efforts? How we sat in the darkness and the cold and the complete absence of communication for days?  As is my way, I am quick to notice the spots of good, love, grace and joy, going on in the everyday.

The hurricane came to the NY/NJ area slowly, so we had about 2 1/2 days to prepare.  If you have read my earlier blogs Wake of the Flood, Someday ..., Sometime a Great Notion, and others, we have had our share of disasters.  We have had trees fall our our house (that's when I started writing this blog), and in our yard, and in our lake!  We got through Hurricane? Superstorm? Sandy fairly unscathed and then helped our family, our neighbors and  now will continue to help fellow New Jersey and New York residents who did not manage as well.  My first New Year's Resolution?  I won't forget about those people who lost everything in the storm.  I'll keep donating money and my time and my blog words and my voice so that they can rebuild their homes.  And while I'm at it... I'll resolve not to forget about the folks who are still shaking their fists at the sky or at God and will never name their daughters Katrina.  I saw that Holy Name Hospital, here in Bergen County, NJ, is donating money and time to Haiti, and I made a promise to myself not to forget them either... let's not let one natural disaster allow us to forget that others are still in great need from the previous hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, and so on.  Resolution number two:  I'm not going to "give it a rest" when it comes to talking about climate change.  This has to be our number one issue...

even though...

Just a few days after the tremendous concert for hurricane relief, cleverly called 12/12/12, a young man in Connecticut raided his mother's gun cabinet and tore into an elementary school.  It was the middle of Hanukkah, and just before Christmas, and the entire nation cried for 20 children and the 6 teachers who tried to save them.  I spoke my piece (Get Rid of the Guns Now) in a quickly written blog post... but the pain still lingers, and I plan to teach my students the importance of gun control legislation when we return to our classes. (Do you readers know about the Gun Show Loophole? It's outrageous.)  My next New Year's Resolution:  Be a a more vocal advocate for gun control policies and educate our children who will become voters on these issues.

Clean slate, new calendars, fresh start.  Do we have to wait for January 1 to do something?  Of course not.  But if you need that kick in the tuchus to remind you, well, here it is.  My daughter and I were discussing how random January 1 is.  As Jews we have two New Years' and we really place more of our spiritual and emotional oomph on the one in September (or October...okay very rarely August).  But there's nothing wrong with a little secular soul searching.

Okay, I'll get off my heavy high horse for a second.
My doctor told me I had high cholesterol.
(Stay with me here.)
I was shocked.
He said I needed to go on a strong dose of Crestor... (a medication for high cholesterol) immediately.
I asked if I could please try to correct this with diet and exercise.
He said yes, absolutely, that's a must, and also start taking Crestor right away.
So, I joined a gym.
(This is not so much of a "New Year's Resolution" as a "Do-this-or-be-a-person-at-high-risk-of-having-a-heart-incident," but still, I'm pleased with the gym membership and the dedication to less red meat and more fish and olive oil.)
And my husband and I both have high cholesterol now, so it can be a couples thing. We both got the Nike Fuel Bands and have a friendly competition about how many Fuel Points we've earned in a day.  Of course sitting here writing my blog earns about ... oh, let's see, ZERO, so my writing* may go down while my cholesterol goes down as well.

We also incorporated a "No meat Tuesday" policy.  Easy, right?  My husband has a fantastic cafeteria where he works.  Made-to-order omelets, gourmet pizza, veggie wraps, what could be easier?  On Tuesdays, I work at home til about 3, and my dinner is pizza or pasta at the synagogue where I teach. Not gourmet, actually not even good, ACTUALLY does not even provide enough protein to drive home... but meat-free, yes.   On our first Tuesday, I texted him to remind him.  He texted me back to say, "Too late.  I had a pastrami sandwich for breakfast and a turkey wrap for lunch.  And for dinner we are going to a steak house for someone's birthday."   So much for meat-free Tuesdays.  Maybe his New Year's Resolution will be to try again this month.

I am feeling good about 2013.  I did not love the way 2012 ended.  On the other hand, if you think back, it wasn't all bad.   It was just this past May when President Obama did something unprecedented:  he came out as a proponent of same-sex marriage.  And in November, same-sex marriage passed in a few more states (although, Mr. Chris Christie... it was not even on the ballot in New Jersey, like you said it would be... ahem???).   Israel had a tough time as well, but it ended relatively quickly and I am thankful for that, and hopeful that it stays peaceful, even if it is a tentative peace.

So what are your New Years Resolutions?  Do you even make them?  Do you keep them?  As for me... I am going to get my work done quickly today so I can try to get to the gym... and even if I can't, I'll walk the dogs just a little bit further down my street than I normally would have. 

Here's looking a better, healthier, more caring, more inclusive 2013 for all of us!


Happy New Year!


*My writing QUANTITY, not QUALITY, I hope.